The meaning that is impossible to be

Sometimes we don’t have a meaning, sometimes not our life, not our acts, sometimes not even other. Sometimes «I» don’t have a meaning. I wanna ask you then, Why «I» don’t have a meaning… yeah… that question people always answer it saying «Well, he doesn’t have money, is possible to understand his wrongness» Yeah… nor money, nor life, nor feeling cand determiname what we are, what we do, and what we think. Could be because we want to, but, in fact, anger, murderer, and even melancholy, are decisions. Why? I wanna ask you, does killing someone have any meaning for you, or the other people? Does taking the life of someone, does hurt other, is gonna make you happy? Is that gonna fix the problem. Yeah, when a child breaks something the usual is to beat the fuck out of him. But then I ask. Why? Is there any need to do that? Does that have any meaning? Is that usefull in any way? Yeah I think if killing someone has a meaning then we must suicide, because the first person we must kill is oneself. You got the point. The wrong things that «We» do, are decisions. Because there is nothing, that makes us killing people, being mad, or hurt other. I, hurt others, and I know I do that… But if someone comes to my house with a fcking gun on their hands, I think I must do something, not just see how I die. That’s why I say hurting people has a meaning, only if is in self-defence. Anger and even madness could have a meaning, but only if we know we are doing it wrong, and think that in any way, we shouldn’t do that.

When someone wants to hurt you, physically, or morally, or personally, you must respond. Not killing him, but you have to cause harm to him. In any other way, they will kill you fucking up. I think in law the «violence» is justified when is in sel-defence (and only if you can prove it). That’s why I say, when others, not I or you, When other makes mistakes, makes fucking mistakes. We cannot say:
-Well, he killed his wife, is comprensible his acts.
-Well, her mother suicide, is normal what she did.
-Well, they was tortured, is comprensible how they are know.

I don’t know if you know Viktor Frankl (You should) but that guy lived in the worst imaginable fucking thinkable way possible. Not only hungry. Desperation, cold, he even was more bones that even people! And «Even all the wrong and badness» That guy came from here, like it was paradise. Is that so, that he always talked positively about his experiences on nazis hands. As I way, if he was abled to do that, then Why can’t we? Simple, because we think we «must» be sad when something wrong happens. We think we must be upset when someone yealls at you. The only thing that difference us, from that kind of man, is that he «Wanted» to be good. As he thought and I think He «Wanted» to have a meaning. And I say «wanted» because there wasn’t any actual reason to be ok. There was nothing to be good. And even tho, he lived a good and nice life. Even when he was tortured, even when He saw his wife died and there wasn’t any more hope or good thing to fight for. If «He» can do that. Why can’t I? Simple, because I don’t want to have a meaning, I just have to have everything in my hand, without working, of actually earning it. Viktor Frankl, demostrades that good things doesn’t exist when you more need them. They exist when you go for it, even if it’s impossible to have it.

The only moment of life, when we don’t have a meaning, is when we are wrong, at sit down watching everything fall apart. We don’t have a meaning, when we just watch everything go wrong, without doing anything to change it. Not changing the fact, changing my will. Because facts don’t change. Only I can be different.