Abused

Last summer I invited some friends over and went to my swimming pool; after a while I went to the sofa and fell asleep on my bikini. When I woke up he was sitting next to me and he put my legs on his lap. I trusted him and I was comfortable, so I just stayed like that. After that, he started touching me. I told him to stop and moved so he wouldn’t be able to touch me, and so he did, he stopped.
After some minutes he would start touching me again and I kept telling him to stop.
We were in that situation for what seemed a lifetime. It was disgusting and extremely awkward.
All of a sudden, his father called him because he was outside to pick him up. When he stood up I felt relieved.
When I thought that nightmare was finally going to end, he suddenly got on top of me and touched me aggressively. I told him to stop, called him by his name almost screaming to make him stop and tried to push him away from me, but he was way much stronger. Everyone had already left so no one was able to help me.
I finally managed to push him away and went home.
I sat down on the sofa hyperventilating and almost having a panic attack while tears formed on my eyes. My body hurt and I felt awful and disgusted. I went to my room and cried myself to sleep.

I knew he sometimes was very touchy, but I never thought he would do anything like that to someone he is friends with.
He had been sending me messages and inappropriate pictures for a while, even if he knew I didn’t like that and I had already told him before.
The day after what happened, he texted me during the whole day and I totally ignored him. He kept insisting until at the end of the day I listened to him and he said he was sorry for wat had happened. Even if I knew he wasn’t, I tried to erase everything from my mind and kept going on with my life. Even now a days I keep ignoring him as much as I can, and we no longer talk.

I never really understood what had happened and never told anyone until one day, a year later, a friend of mine explained me her abuse story and something woke up inside of me. I remembered what had happened to me, and I finally understood all the nightmares, the anxiety and the stress I had gone through had an explanation.
It was all because of him.
I understood that he had abused me, and that what happened to me was not my fault.